Saturday, April 6, 2013

F is for Functioning without a Smartphone

I am a rarity in the realm of first-world twentysomethings.  I do not have a smartphone.

I haven't abstained from owning a smartphone because I hate technology.  Like many of my peers, I have a crippling addiction to social media and would much rather e-mail someone than call them on the phone and speak with our voices. 

The thing is, I already have the technology I need in order to accomplish my day-to-day goals.  I can't justify spending my meager income on a smartphone that I really don't need.  It's not the actual smartphone I can't afford--refurbished ones are pretty reasonable--it's the monthly phone bill that comes with it.  I'm sort of poor right now while I try to convince the Internet to make me famous.  Not living-in-a-cardboard-box poor, but the kind of poor where having $20 left in my account at the end of the month is cause for celebration.  (Ironically, that celebration usually involves spending the last $20.)  I know some people who would rather eat dry spaghetti out of a garbage can every night than sacrifice the ability to update social media everywhere they go, and then they would Instagram their dry garbage-can spaghetti dinner.  I am not those people.

I'm sure I'll get a smartphone someday, when doing so won't involve giving up electricity or running water, or when smartphones become the only remaining phone option and I have no choice.  In the meantime, I am constantly amused by people's reactions to my lack of a smartphone.  You would think the world's technology level had gone straight from nomadic hunting and gathering to the iPhone 5, people are that baffled by my ability to survive without a smartphone.


Again, I really have nothing against smartphones.  Many of the apps are downright impressive, and some are even useful.  I just don't absolutely need that level of technology.  My job doesn't require that I check my e-mail 24/7.  If I want to photograph something, I have a digital camera that fits in my purse or backpack.  If I need directions, I have a pocket-sized GPS.  If I want to listen to music, my beleaguered iPod still works after six years of faithful service.  If I'm stranded on the side of the road and need to call a ride, I have my (apparently archaic) pre-paid cell phone that costs $12 a month.  If I need to know where to hide a dead body, I should probably be in jail.  Having all these technologies consolidated into one piece of equipment is convenient, yes, but people forget that it's a luxury, not an absolute necessity.

Until I accidentally drop my digital camera off the side of a mountain and my GPS gets smashed in the bottom of my backpack and my iPod finally dies.  Then maybe I'll get a smartphone.

24 comments:

  1. I only got a smartphone about six months ago. I felt the exact same way as you. But, my flip phone died, and I thought why not. I actually use a prepaid service, too, which is a lot cheaper for smartphones than a regular plan with a big company, so I'm still doing it in an awkward way, but it works for me.

    And to be honest, I regret it a little bit, because I was shocked to discover that I have become absolutely addicted to that dang smart phone.

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    1. Yeah, judging by how addicted I already am to the Internet, I'm pretty sure my face will adhere itself directly to the screen if I ever get a smartphone. Just out of curiosity, what prepaid service are you using? I might need to know this someday when my flip phone finally finishes coming apart.

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  2. I own a smartphone without it being a bill phone, it is pay as you go. And I only have it because I got it of a friend who upgraded his phone and I got it for cheap.....you have 20$ at the end of the month? How do you do that? I need saving tips, I pay you in fluff!

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    1. Haha, having $20 left is a GOOD month... in the really bad months it's more like -$20 and some overdraft fees.

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  3. I am 36 and have no smartphone. Go Team Us! Love your blog, consider me a brand new fan. Great work on the ol' AtoZ thing too. Can't wait to read more from your twisted, adorable little mind which seems horrifyingly similar to mine.
    Wuv Yoo!

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    1. I think that is the best compliment my mind has ever gotten. =)

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  4. Hahaha! Your illustrations are spot on, as usual. Documenting the meal and bragging about the fun being had with friends baffles me. I got a smartphone when my flip finally died (the day I accidentally left my 8 year old at home by himself and he couldn't reach me to tell me). I did not put any blogging, facebook, or other social things on there for a reason.

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    1. Smart move. I was talking to someone the other day and she was like, "I wish I could spend less time on Facebook, but my phone tells me every time I get a notification!" Wayyy better to just turn those things off.

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  5. My cell phone does nothing but make & receive phone calls--how archaic is that?

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  6. Hilarious explanation for a perfectly logical and practical decision. I would have written the same thing, but I'm not as awesome. Internet famous! Internet famous!

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  7. We also waited until about 6 months ago to move up from a flip phone. I don't have hardly any apps and no FB, etc. on it but I am finding I like it better than my old phone. Took about three months to say that! Keep up the good alphabetic work - love the illustrations!! :)

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  8. I just got my first smartphone late last year. I had my same flip phone for about five years before that. I decided not long after an incident in which I left a piece of paper in which I had jotted the gate code to my brother's gated community inside my brother's house, and ended up being late for something. Now, I take all my notes on my phone, and especially love being able to take photos of my pets and scenery around here.

    From A to Z, Kristen's blog: kristenhead.blogspot.com

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  9. I thought I was the last person on the planet to get a smart phone, but you have stolen my last vestige of uniqueness! You really aren't missing out. It's just one more thing.The pocket sized GPS sounds awesome!

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    1. I, too, thought I was the last one, but now all these commenters are coming forth telling me they don't have one either. Now I have to question my whole identity.

      The GPS is really just a normal GPS, but it fits in the (fairly large) pocket of my favorite hoodie, so I call it pocket-sized because it sounds all fancy. :)

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  10. I don't use most of the apps on my smartphone, but I really love the ones I do use. They make my life easier. However, I do not condemn people who don't have smartphones. I will defend to the death (well, maybe not quite death but perhaps a twisted ankle or neck ache) your right to live without a smartphone.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Aww thank you! I hope you never have to twist an ankle for me, but I really appreciate the sentiment.

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  11. You put in words the thought that has been echoing in my mind for sometime now. Use of smartphone is making people dumber...we have created smart devices around which has made us dumb by not needing to think! very timely post!

    - nice perspective! Looking at this from a different angle, many scientist will lose their jobs if the virus stop behaving like they are right now!

    - Dishit (@dishitd) from Only the Crazy Survive!!!

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  12. I don't understand this. I get clammy and panicky if we go out of range of a signal for my mobile phone on a journey. I have to be in touch with the world. I need to check my emails and send the occasional tweet or text a friend.i rarely use it as a phone but I have to have it on me!

    Rosalind Adam is Writing in the Rain

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  13. I got my first smart phone a couple of years ago. I was always opposed to cell phones, I liked being able to have periods of time where I wouldn't be interrupted but had to get one for the years when I was working "on-call". I got sick of getting lost in the suburbs and broke down and got an Android with a $25 month prepaid contract. I'm really attached to it and mostly use it to read other peoples blog posts and magazine articles. Probably since I'm a lot older than you (50)) and work in an underpaid field (public librarianship) most people I know don't have a smart phone. I'd have a hard time giving mine up, even though it only does half of what a brand new one does! If I would of had GPS I never would have gotten the phone... Nice perspective. Donna at Donna's New Day

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  14. They suck you dry of eye contact & a real life. Steer clear, my friend. Steer clear. xoxo mar

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  15. While I technically have a smartphone, it has no service and is used as a glorified Ipod with 50 songs on it :( When I had service, for those two glorious months, years ago I was addicted. I'd imagine once I get service again it will be the same. Though, I'd never text while driving! That pisses me off >.<

    Great comic as usual :)

    Update your copyright to 2013, yo. We be in the future now!

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  16. Take a stand! Glad your not living in a cardboard box. I've seen many who should use that money in other ways!

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  17. No smart phone here, either! Though, I admit, I'm feeling kinda sad about my inability to waste all my "spare" time using apps only available on smart phones.

    I'm loving your blog and sense of humor! So glad I found you through the A to Z Challenge!

    --Cristyl @ www.mychillthoughts.com

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