Monday, April 8, 2013

G is for Getting Myself to Write

Getting myself to write is a complicated task, fraught with subtle psychological manipulation, and snacks.

First I need 9 or 10 hours of sleep because I have the metabolism of a sloth.  7 or 8 hours just do not cut it.

I don't drink coffee, so I'm not one of those writers who camps out in a cute coffee shop, downing cappuccinos and pecking feverishly at my laptop.  Caffeine gives me paralyzing ADD.  Not the hyper kind--the literally paralyzing kind where you're bombarded by so many random, bizarre thoughts that you barely even realize you've been staring at a wall for the past ten minutes without moving.

Once I've awoken without the aid of coffee, I plop down in front of my laptop with a bowl of cereal and good intentions, only to spend 45 minutes checking Facebook, reading other people's blogs, and answering e-mails.  Well, reading e-mails and deciding to answer them later.  With that out of the way, I decide I've been sitting at my desk too long and resolve to begin my day in earnest now.

Convinced I'll be able to concentrate more on writing if I burn off some pent-up energy, I take a walk.

After my walk, I need to rest for a while.

Then I need a snack, because I can't be expected to write while my blood sugar is low.  And while I'm eating, I might as well watch something entertaining on the Internet.

Then one of our cats curls up in my lap, and I watch another hour of Internet TV because he's napping and I don't want to disturb him.

Finally, I get burned out on whatever I'm watching and decide I actually do feel like writing now, so I reach over the cat and poke awkwardly at my keyboard*.

It's amazing I manage to accomplish anything at all.

*Actually, that's only true part of the time.  When I'm writing a long post, I write in a notebook first and then type it.  As a matter of fact, that's what I did with this post!


  1. Haley this was HILARIOUS. Yours is a perfect blog to end my day with.

    Sania at Embracing Dawn

  2. Glad to see you are so health-oriented--your cheese curls are organic!!

    1. I was hoping someone would notice that! I really do eat organic cheese curls. I don't care if I get fat, as long as I do it the natural way.

  3. You only need 9 - 10 hours of sleep? I require a minimum of 12.


  4. Cats. They bend us to their will. They are benders of will. Also, I will officially note for the record that I love that the logo for your blog features the same colors as Reese's Pieces. This makes you a good person.

  5. There are organic cheese curls??? This is what I do every weekend, well without the cat but I always have good intentions just to wake up at like 1 in the afternoon...

  6. I love your drawings! I too noticed the organic cheese long as its organic it cant be bad...right?

  7. bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! another great post. I am worried that we are gonna burn you out on the a to z and then you won't write anything for like 2 months after.

    tell me you might still write after.


  8. Cats are the anti-blogger. Mine love to help me by napping on my lap, or by my arm so I can't type. Another one of my cats likes to help me by pointing out to me where my mouse is on my screen. So it's really not our faults when we don't write as often as we should...we have cats!

  9. Man, this is so funny! At least you are eating organic cheese curls, LOL. I eat almost all organic food, so that sort of stuck out at me. :) You sound like me, and all other procrastinators. We should create the procrastinator's blog hop so we can waste even more time reading other people's blogs while not writing on our own. :)

    From A to Z, Kristen's blog:

  10. That's exactly how I am. After sleeping, I need a rest because it's so tiring!

  11. Haha! I have no idea what you're talking about. *ahem*

  12. I somehow missed this entry, and it is one of my favs so far in the A to Z! I am not a coffee drinker either, but on Thursdays some friends like to meet up to write at a coffee shop. Each time I get a cafe mocha, but I end up getting tired when I finish it. Is that natural? I wouldn't think so.

    I like your daily writing routine! Great comics. Did you Google Aardvark? :)

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

  13. I'm so sorry I've only just come across this post but I must say, it is the most accurate thing I think I have ever seen on the internet :)