Last week I was amazed by my own productivity. I posted something new on this blog three days in a row, not to mention putting a couple of things on my gardening blog. (That's right, I garden. What, did you think girls in their early twenties didn't garden? Well, you're mostly right. But I do.) And I got this blog up to twelve followers, if you count Evil Andrew Adrian. That's right. Double digits, people.
This is the point where most bloggers would probably feel more motivated than ever. You were probably expecting me to get all excited and start churning out posts. I was kind of expecting that, too. Instead, I got all excited and then didn't post at all for a week.
I practically begged you guys to follow me. I somehow managed to convince you I'm hilarious and that if you followed my blog, you'd be getting in on the next Internet sensation at the ground level, and someday you'd be able to say, "Oh, yeah, Haley's Comic. I started following that back when it was cool. Ever since she got that multi-million-dollar book deal, she's really sold out, man." Well, I did give some of you Certificates of Awesomeness. But I still owe the rest of you something in return for following my blog. I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life paying you back in the form of mind-blowing humor. I can feel all twelve of you staring at me, expectant, hopeful, maybe thinking about just cooking and eating me instead of waiting for me to have a brilliant idea.
Well, today is not that day, you sneaky cannibals, because I keep a list of blog ideas on my laptop in case my creativity ever dries up and I need to maintain the illusion of genius. So, kind of like now. Some of the ideas are lame (I'm not sure what I was thinking when I jotted down, "Caveman vs. Astronaut: Who Would Win?"), but some have potential. Here are some of the more promising ideas from my list, which I'm sharing with you because I want you to pick the topic of my next post.
Your choices are...
The apocalypse will be awkward
The toilet paper spool is clearly meant to be a stand
Why Emily + Haley = Hamily
I can't believe my parents let me see Titanic 8 times
What my cats have taught me about teamwork
(I've chosen not to alter those from the way I typed them the first time. They don't make much sense, but they're much funnier.)
My next post will most likely feature whichever topic you guys choose, unless I wake up tomorrow and decide you have terrible taste in topics, or I have a better idea between now and then. Either way, it may be a few days before I finish writing about whatever you pick, but at least I'll have something to live for again.