When I go through a long stretch of not posting, I feel like my next post needs to be more and more and more awesome to compensate. I can't just jump right back in after not saying anything for so long. That's like running into your best friend from high school and saying, "Oh, hey, how'd you do on that history test in 1982? I think I did okay on the multiple choice."
But when I try to create a post of indescribable awesomeness, a post worthy of the buildup I've created during my weeks of not posting, I get stuck in an infinite loop of doubt. I try to write something worthy of a two-week wait, but then that takes another week to write, so now I have to make it funny enough for three weeks, but then that takes four more days, and it goes on and on and on until my head explodes, or I decide to just give up and go to bed, or Hubs gets home from work and says, "Hey, do you want to watch some Ugly Betty re-runs on Netflix?" Sometimes all three of those things happen, in that order.
This time, instead of getting caught up in the infinite loop of doubt, I'm writing a post to catch you up on what I've been doing while not blogging, and then maybe we can just move on like nothing happened and I'm still your favorite blogger ever.
Here's what I've been up to lately:
1. I drew a blind monkey for MOV in honor of this post on her blog.
2. As a perk for being a super-successful, blind-monkey-drawing blogger, I received a copy of MOV's new book, Mom's Had a Rough Day, and have been reading it non-stop for the past 72 hours at great risk to my personal health and safety. Okay, I might have taken a break to sleep and eat and occasionally go to work (usually in that order). But seriously, you should pick up a copy*. It's on Amazon, so you don't even have to get dressed or brush your teeth or drive!
3. I accidentally re-caulked my bathtub with construction adhesive. (I actually wrote about it, but then I got stuck in the aforementioned infinite loop of doubt and ended up relegating it to my "Unpublished" folder and writing this post instead.)
4. I wrote 21,000 words for National Novel Writing Month before
stopping altogether because it was Thanksgiving and I was doing
important things like playing a three-day-long game of Phase 10 with my in-laws and going to a
casino with my parents. (I wrote about the casino, too. It's languishing in the "Unpublished" folder right next to "How to Not Caulk Your Bathtub with Construction Adhesive.")
I feel much better now that I've given you guys an update. I'll be resuming my weekly, mediocre posts soon! Hey, maybe I'll even get all crazy and post two things in one week.
*I am telling you to buy this book because I am bossy and everything I like is awesome. No one has asked me to review it or offered to give me stuff in exchange for recommending it or anything like that. You have my word on that, as a totally professional blogger. Now that that's cleared up, I'm going to go stalk people on the Internet while eating pre-wrapped slices of cheese, or as I like to call it, "researching the competition."