Friday, November 18, 2011

There is No Trade-In for Kids

Whenever people say anything even remotely negative about their kids, like maybe, "My three-year-old was being so annoying in the car today!" they always hurry to add, "But I wouldn't trade them for anything!"

This is basically their way of saying, "My three-year-old was being so annoying in the car today... but please don't report me to child services because I'm not an unfit mother I swear!"

It's sad that some people really would hear an innocuous comment like that and go running to report it.  Personally, I would never judge someone for having a moment of parental humanity every once in a while.  It's refreshing, actually, to talk to people who are honest about their kids.

I would only get concerned if someone started being really creepy about it.

But I digress. 

What bothers me about people saying, "I wouldn't trade them for anything!" is that we all know you can't trade them for anything, even if you really wished you could.  There is no trade-in value for kids.

Maybe we could settle on a more truthful phrase to use instead of "I wouldn't trade them for anything," like maybe, "I would never sell them to Somali pirates on the Internet using a Swiss bank account."

Because we all know it's better to use cash in those situations.


  1. Joykill. I'm still banking on the gypsies. I hear they'll take anybody's kids.

  2. The Husband does not say "Let's trade them in." He says, "Let's take them back." He follow this up with, "but I lost my receipt." See? Queen Virgo would NEVER lose her receipt. Stupid men.


    1. As a stupid man, I mean man! I take offense to that.

  3. This is funny. A good laugh for the morning.

  4. Or list them on ebay. Apparently, that's frowned upon.