Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Virtual Wasteland

I recently discovered that I possess a solemn and terrible power.

I can hide people from my Facebook newsfeed.

The first thing I did with my new power was to scroll through my newsfeed, gleefully hiding all the people who post too many baby pictures.  After that, I was satisfied... for a while.

Then the other night, Ari was complaining about someone posting melodramatic statuses, and I shared my new power of online destruction with him, too.  Then I said, "[unnamed friend] always posts really emo statuses in my newsfeed, but I feel kind of bad hiding her."

"You should do it."


(I get on Facebook.) 

"Ugh, [other unnamed friend] just posted a really long status.  S/He always does that."



Apparently, this power is just too great for Ari and I to wield responsibly.  The list of people exiled from my newsfeed has now grown to include people whose statuses are too long, people who use too many emoticons, people whose statuses are too emo, people who post too many forwards, and people who are more successful than I am.

If Facebook were real life, our world would probably look like this right now:

Yes, it is lava.


  1. hahahahahaha I also have to block everyone who posts too much about religion. Somebody posted the other day thanking the lord for "huge financial gain". I had to delete them. Blocking wasn't enough. Hopefully I would make it through and be hanging out with you and Ari and lava.

  2. I loved the "... and people who are more successful than I am."

    Blocking ... Good

  3. The best part of the image for this post is that before text was added I actually said "...Is that lava?" I don't know if you added it because of that, but either way its funny.

    I mostly block people whose statuses I find reminiscent of a 15 year old...regardless of age. The only person I have on facebook who is at that age (slightly below) is a good friend's younger brother...and his statuses aren't like that.

    Proof that sometimes age is no indicator of maturity.