Immune System

For the past few years, my immune system has been going through an existential crisis.

I'm starting to think my immune system has abandoned its identity altogether.  Like maybe it wants to be a spleen now.

It's sure as hell not fighting foreign antibodies on my behalf.  Occasionally, it seems to remember its function, but always at the worst possible time.

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The Rental Inspector

We had our annual rental inspection this month.  We straightened up the house and had everything much-less-dirty-than-usual.  On the day of the inspection, the inspector was scheduled to arrive anytime between 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM, so we went about business as usual, except we were wearing pants.  10:00 AM came and went; no inspection.  11:00 AM; still nothing.  12:00 PM arrives and I think, I hope they don't catch me in the middle of lunch, but no, still nothing.  Finally, at 1:45 PM, I had to leave for work. 

As I gathered my scattered belongings, someone knocked on our door--a woman wearing a very pink shirt and pants covered in big, tropical prints.  Of course, the rental inspector arrives now.

Why isn't this rental inspector coming inside?  Maybe she wants to start by walking the perimeter of the yard.  Ari heard me talking and came to the door.

Ari, sensing the woman's hesitation, introduced himself.

And with those friendly words, she rallied.

I don't know what was more awkward:  the fact that this lady had no idea Ari is Jewish and does not want to go to a Jehovah's Witness meeting, or the fact that I had just invited her to come walk around in our house for no apparent reason.

 

And that's why I'm a terrible spouse.

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The Anne Frank Game

I spent a lot of time at my grandparents' house as a child.  We lived with them for nearly a year when I was four.

At some point, my grandmother told me the story of Anne Frank, minus the part where they all get caught and sent to concentration camps. 

I became deeply fascinated by Anne Frank, and Meemaw invented a game in which I was Anne Frank and she was some other, less glamorous member of the family.  We'd sneak upstairs and try to be as still and quiet as possible.

Inevitably, Meemaw's role in the game would require that she go downstairs to fend off some Nazis or stage a rendezvous with the German neighbor who smuggled us our groceries.

Meanwhile, I stuck to my post in the secret annex, thinking how nice Meemaw was to play the lesser role that involved going downstairs to the boring part of the house.

Eventually, Meemaw would return from the perilous outside world with a snack she'd scavenged.

The Nazis always lost the war just in time for Rugrats, or dinner, or both.

When I think of the Anne Frank game now, I am in awe of my grandmother's ingenious ploy to keep me out of trouble for hours at a time and simultaneously teach me about World War II.

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Cat Ponderings

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Zombie Bob Kidnaps Muse

I recently let you guys know that Zombie Bob decided to take a vacation.  Upon hearing this news, MOV was quick to remind me that her friend, Muse, had also recently gone AWOL and needed to be bailed out of jail before disappearing again. 

At first, I thought it was just a humorous coincidence.  So imagine my surprise when they both turned up at my doorstep this morning.

Sorry, MOV.  I tried my best.  But on the bright side, at least Zombie Bob didn't eat her brains!

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Zombie Bob Takes a Vacation

I haven't had any good Zombie Bob ideas in a while.  I like to think he's just been on vacation, lounging somewhere and sipping brain cocktails.

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It's Like I Just Gave Birth with My Brain

I didn't blog at all during April.  I'm sorry.  I thought I could do Script Frenzy and work two jobs and blog for a month, but I was wrong.  So very, very wrong. 

For the record, Script Frenzy is a writing challenge, the goal being to write 100 pages in the month of April. 

But if it's any consolation, I won Script Frenzy, and now I fully intend to start blogging regularly again!

I've discovered that when I tell someone I've won Script Frenzy, but they don't actually know what Script Frenzy is, they think I've won $1,000,000 or something, and then I feel bad for getting their hopes up.

People also tend to assume I wrote a movie.  Hubs did write a movie for Script Frenzy (which is awesome, and I'm not just saying that because he's my husband--it has a cat assassin, you guys), but I wrote a script for a graphic novel, which is really a lot like this blog, except instead of incorporating the illustrations, you make a detailed note where you want each one to be.  As a result, I now have hundreds of illustrations to go back and draw, which I plan to do very, very gradually.

Frankly, knowing that something that was just a vague idea floating around in my head for the past several months is now an actual rough draft, I really do feel like I won something.  My ideas have been made solid.  I could even print them out if I wanted!  But I won't because that would be a lot of paper and ink. 

If you're wondering what I wrote about, imagine more stories like Meemaw and the Rocks, interlaced with other random stories from my childhood.  I already have a few picked out that seem like they'd be able to stand alone as blog posts, so as I illustrate them, you'll be seeing them here!  Yay!

It's good to be back.  I really missed talking to you, big anonymous Internet vacuum!

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